clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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