I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
