College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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