Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
