This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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