none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
