Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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