therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
