so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
