I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
