Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
