I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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