Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
