idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
