She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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