I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
