Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
