walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
