they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
