ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
