I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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