ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
