"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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