is wine microwaveable?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
