Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
