he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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