what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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