Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
