I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
