I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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