We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
