I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
