He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
FUCK WHALES
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize