u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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