i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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