which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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