everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize