the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
