guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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