I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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