This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
