I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
