ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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