Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
