My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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