its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
