Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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