I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
