I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
