i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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