im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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